Life After Sixty
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Life before sixty is nothing but a warm-up. We true prime-timers were here before the Pill,
the population explosion and disposable diapers.
We were here before we were called "senior citizens." We were here before TV, penicillin,
polio shots, antibiotics and open-heart surgery. Before frozen food, nylon, Xerox, radar,
fluorescent lights, credit cards, ball point pens, Frisbees and fiber optics.
For us, time-sharing meant togetherness, not computers or condos. Coeds never wore
jeans. Girls wore Peter Pan collars.
We were here before panty hose and drip-dry clothes, before ice makers and dishwashers,
clothes dryers, freezers and electric blankets. Before men wore long hair and earrings and
before women wore tuxedos. We were here before Anne Landers, Grandma Moses and
the Kinsey Report. We were here before facelifts, tummy tucks, liposuction and hair
transplants.
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We thought cleavage was what butchers did. We were here before sex changes, before
Viagra. We just made do with what we had.
We were here before computers. A mouse pad was where the mice hung out. To log-on
was to add wood to fire. A chip was a piece of wood. Hardware meant hardware, and
software wasn't even a word. A hard drive was a long, grueling journey. A CD was
something you invested in. Windows were for looking out of. A virus was a flu bug that
people caught. Backing up was what you hoped never happened to your toilet, especially
when you had company.
We were here before vitamins, Jeeps, pizza, Cherrios, instant coffee, decaffeinated
anything, light anything and McDonald's. We thought fast food was what you ate during
Lent. If we had been asked to explain VCR, EIA,NATO, UFO, PMS, GNP, MBA,
BMW, SDI, NFL, PSA and ATM, we'd have said "alphabet soup."
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If all fails, come on over to my house, take a seat in one of
the rockers on my porch and we'll visit the old-fashioned way - face to face and in person -
and let the rest of the world go by.
~Author Unknown~
Recorded by Neil Diamond
Thank you Phyllis Fulcher for your contributions to this page!
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